Simon’s Incoherent Blog

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: Season 1, Episode 3 – The Squire

“Ser Duncan only has us. And if he loses, he won’t even have that.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

It wouldn’t be Westeros without some political intrigue, backstabbing and skulduggery; and after two relatively sedate instalments, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms this week saw all these reliable staples trotted out. On a smaller scale than usual, admittedly – this is a lighthearted comic romp, so we’re not looking at the fates of kingdoms being decided by the deaths of thousands here. Just some infighting and dishonesty at a medieval tournament that Dunk still naively believes will be fought according to the rules of chivalry.

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: Season 1, Episode 2 – Hard Salt Beef

“All men are fools. All men are knights.”

(SPOILER WARNING – and probably NSFW!)

More fun Westeros-based shenanigans ensued in this week’s instalment of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, which, suited to its lightweight comic style, was a mere 33 minutes long. Presumably after the hour long first ep, we’re looking at fairly short episodes compared to the often epic-length sister shows. That’s lucky, as having started to read the books they’re based on, they really are short – about 150 pages each. That’s not much plot even to fill three seasons.

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: Season 1, Episode 1 – The Hedge Knight

“Every knight needs a squire. And you look like you need one more than most.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

Yes, I know, it’s been months since I’ve written anything here. A combination of work, then the irritating recurrence of mental problems from the past… But it’s just excuses. I needed something to discipline me to write every week. And what better than HBO’s continued attempt to milk success from George RR Martin’s sprawling world of Westeros?

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 8 – The Real Monsters

“All this time, we’ve been afraid of them. But I think… they should be afraid of us.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

It’s become a familiar refrain both on and offscreen in the Alien universe that the Xenomorphs are not “the real monsters”. No, the real monsters would be people – in particular, the rapacious, greedy corporations eager to make a quick buck out of the uncontrollable killing machines, uncaring how many people die to make that happen.

The Professionals: Series 2, Episode 2 – Hunter/Hunted

“Guard it Doyle, guard it with your life. In the wrong hands, that gun could create an instant disaster area.”

The one where…

CI5 are entrusted with the testing of a powerful, innovative new gun, and Doyle immediately loses it.

Although Cowley’s portentous warnings would suggest that the new gun central to the plot was some kind of doomsday weapon, the actual novelty of it is its laser sight; in every other way it’s just a (admittedly powerful) automatic rifle that had been on the market for a few years by this point.

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 7 – Emergence

“We’re all going to die here. And then the bugs will crawl in and we’ll all be ghosts.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

As expected after last week’s tension-building instalment, all those plotlines that Alien Earth has built up over the season start coming to fruition in this penultimate episode. Joe and Wendy’s escape plan from Prodigy; Slightly’s frantic attempt to bring Morrow an Alien; Yutani sending in troops to retrieve her specimens; Wendy’s bond with the recently hatched Alien – all feature heavily in an episode that shifts the story into high gear.

The Professionals: Series 2, Episode 1 – Rogue

“You’re good, both of you, the best – but I’ve got the drop on you, psychologically. Ask yourself a question – who trained you, taught you?”

The one where…

An old friend of Cowley’s, his first pick when forming CI5, and Bodie and Doyle’s trainer, turns out to be corrupt, and the boys have to track him down before he can flee the country.

With the first series of The Professionals having been a storming success for ITV, obviously they were keen to have more. Surprisingly, though, many of the behind the scenes staff – and one conspicuous onscreen one – were not so keen, so it was all change for this second “series” (well, production block).

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 6 – The Fly

“Are we people, or something else? Because I don’t want to be ‘people’ any more, if this is what people are.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

It’s back to the main story in Alien: Earth this week, after last week’s well-crafted (but sort of pointless) prequel-to-a-prequel remake of Alien. This is a thoughtful, contemplative ep that focuses mainly on the characters and concepts, but laced with dread throughout. And it’s clearly the calm before the storm that will presumably be unleashed in the final two episodes.

The Professionals: Series 1, Episode 13 – When the Heat Cools Off

“I helped put away a man for a crime he didn’t do!”

The one where…

An old police case comes back to haunt Doyle, when the daughter of a man he put away for murder presents a case for her father’s innocence.

Most crime shows have done one of these from time to time – the episode where the hero has to struggle with the realisation that, perhaps, one of his previous collars was actually an innocent man who’s been rotting away in jail all this time. This time, it’s former copper Doyle who’s presented with enough doubt by the pretty daughter of an imprisoned crime lord to make him reopen an investigation he thought finished in 1971.

The Professionals: Series 1, Episode 12 – Stake Out

“How many stake outs you been on, Bodie?”

The one where…

The stakes escalate dramatically when Bodie and Doyle’s stakeout of a bowling alley reveals a plan to nuke Central London.

After the rather overambitious attempt at spectacle in the previous episode, this one goes completely the opposite way by having an entire episode mostly set in one location. And you know what? It’s much, much better. Unfolding over the course of about four hours, as Bodie and Doyle stake out a bowling alley after a CI5 agent is killed with a scorecard in his pocket, the episode is both tense and, surprisingly, funny.