“It’s war out there! It’s bloody war!”
The one where…
A group of mercenaries with a grudge against Bodie come to England to ply their trade robbing banks.
The budget must have been amped up for this one, as the first quarter of the ep is a lengthy action sequence in which mercenary leader Krivas and his motley crew storm a bank with machine guns, then pile into a stolen RAF truck for a gunfire heavy car chase with the police, then steal a plane to escape. As Bodie and Doyle listen to the radio chatter in Cowley’s office, a squadron of RAF Harriers (in some quite decent stock footage) is scrambled to pursue the plane, which dodges into a nearby cloud while, unseen, the mercenaries parachute out leaving the stolen plane to crash into the ground (that last bit isn’t actually shown – the budget wasn’t that high).
And all that’s just a calling card, advertising their services to Simon Sinclair, yet another Big Crime Boss who lives in a fancy country house and is not happy that the gang have stolen his important safe deposit box. But Krivas brings it back to him with a proposal – the mercenaries will act as his own private army. For a price. Thus reassured, Sinclair tasks them with robbing a plutonium refinement plant, which seems a bit ambitious even for a Big Crime Boss.
This one delves for the first time into Bodie’s past as a soldier in Africa, as he knows this gang of old (once again, this saves the department a lot of boring detective work). It also means he know their tactics, and can anticipate what they might do next. Not all the time, of course – it would be a pretty short episode if he could. But he’s also got a score to settle with Krivas, who killed the “bird” he was in love with back in Angola. Lewis Collins conveys this inner turmoil with a steely expression and a thousand yard stare.
For a top military leader, Krivas has a pretty short fuse, repeatedly threatening to shoot or stab his men when they don’t live up to his standards. That’s actually pretty understandable, though, because when they’re not actually on a job, they’re crap, drinking and causing unnecessary aggro when the logical thing to do would be to lie low. It’s like they want to get caught.
As a result, of course, they do, when Bodie’s old friend Benny breaks ranks to visit his wife at home. Where, logically, Bodie and Doyle are waiting for him, since his address isn’t a secret. Idiot.
It’s from Benny that the boys garner the information about Krivas working for Sinclair, but as a copper, Doyle knows the Big Crime boss is untouchable. Legally, that is. So Cowley has one of his dubious plans. Stating that there have been “allegations of brutality” against Bodie and Doyle (isn’t that pretty much their modus operandi?), he suspends them so that, “what you do when you’re off the job isn’t my responsibility”. Which leaves them free to kidnap Sinclair’s teenage daughter and threaten her until the genteel gangster reveals the plutonium robbery plan.
We don’t actually see the plutonium robbery (the gang gets there just after it’s happened), as presumably the budget didn’t stretch to two big raids per episode. We’re not starved of action though, as the chase after the mercenaries is a pretty thrilling sequence of punching, fighting and shooting until they’re all dead. Even Cowley gets in on the action, blowing up the gang’s knife expert with a handy petrol soaked rag even with a stab wound in his shoulder.
So finally Krivas is cornered, and could presumably be arrested. But of course that’s not enough for Bodie, who still has his score to settle. He therefore takes on the ruthless mercenary leader in a lengthy punchup, in which you can almost smell the testosterone. The result takes place offscreen, but of course Bodie, slightly the worse for wear, has won: “You should see the other feller”.
The cars
British Leyland have finally got around to supplying Bodie and Doyle with a new car, so they no longer have to wheeze after the villains in that seven year old Rover 2000. It’s a sporty little Triumph Dolomite Sprint, BL’s attempt at a high performance small saloon to rival the BMW 3 series. With a fancy (but breakdown prone) 16 valve cylinder head to boost performance, it was a really good design. Unfortunately, it was put together by British Leyland, so even when it was actually working, bits tended to rust and fall off it.
A variety of police cars this week, with the ubiquitous Triumph 2000s making several appearances; but also the less than high speed Austin Allegro, and a Rover 2000TC. Both of the latter end up with shattered windscreens as a result of machine gun fire – that’s how big the budget was, they could afford to replace two windscreens.
1970s clothes
Bodie’s out of leather this week, starting the ep in a fancy-looking double breasted jacket, in the standard 70s shade of brown. His shirt is fairly restrained, with the collars only very large rather than gobsmackingly massive.
Later, however, he goes full 1970s, with a belted safari jacket and a bright red shirt with the most humungous collars imaginable.
Doyle, always less of a fashionista than his bro, debuts his plaid bomber jacket this week. It will go on to be his signature look, though there’s still plenty of fashion faux pas even if he doesn’t change his outfit twice an episode like Bodie.
Hey, it’s that guy from that thing!
Ruthless, super-intense mercenary Krivas is incarnated by David Suchet, already wearing the moustache he would put to good use later as TV’s definitive Hercule Poirot.
Strangely accented, eyepatch wearing “blade expert” Francois aka Franky is Christopher Reich, later to be well-known as Dr Legg’s son (also Dr) David Legg in Eastenders.
The hapless Benny is played by Del Henney, another ubiquitous 70s hardman probably best remembered for his turn as creepy rapist Charlie Venner in Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs.
Outside of the gang, it’s none other than the magnificent Geoffrey Palmer as smooth, urbane crime boss Simon Sinclair. Palmer, a fine actor in both comedy and drama, has too many credits to list, including at least three roles in Doctor Who; however, he may be best remembered for his comedy roles in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin and Butterflies.
Also well-known to Doctor Who fans is Jeremy Bulloch, playing Sinclair’s henchman “Aggro Charlie”. Outside of his Who role as Hal the Archer in 1973’s The Time Warrior, though, he’s far better known for a role where you never actually see his face – Boba Fett in the original Star Wars trilogy.
Nice bit of dialogue
Benny, alarmed at his imminent deportation: “Listen, you send me back to Angola, they’ll eat me alive!”
Cowley, shrugging: “Well, that is a problem. But not our problem.”
Sinclair, having just concluded a crime deal with a vaguely Arabic looking gentleman: “You look worried, Charles.”
Aggro Charlie: “I like dealing with our own kind.”
Sinclair, being unusually sensitive for 1977: “Racial prejudice, Charles?”
Doyle, worried for the safety of his recently wounded boss: “Cowley, you ok?”
Cowley, gamely struggling up a hill with his bad leg and a recent stab wound: “yes, I’m ok. And it’s MISTER Cowley!”
Doyle: “You are ok, aren’t you.”
Bodie, neatly summing up the whole philosophy of the show to explain his decision to take on Krivas with a fist fight rather than just arresting him: “I’m not breaking the law. Just bending it.”
Casual Sexism
There’s a whole comedy bit where Bodie threatens Sinclair that Doyle, in the car with Sinclair’s teenage daughter, is a dangerously unhinged maniac who’ll be set loose on her if Sinclair doesn’t cooperate. Cue much cutting to Doyle looking uncomfortable as said teenage girl hikes up her skirt and asks, “well, aren’t you going to ravish me?”
Fortunately even this show wouldn’t go that far, and Doyle just fidgets uncomfortably and says, “well, I haven’t been feeling very well lately…”, before offering her a Fruit Pastille.
If you were going to try to get one of your friends into watching The Professionals, this would be a good episode to use as a showcase. It’s hugely thrilling, with some great performances from an excellent cast, and even has a bit of depth by exploring Bodie’s backstory. All three leads get plenty of chances to shine, though, utilising their respective skills to solve the case. And it’s incredibly action-packed, from that slam-bang bank raid opening through to the explosive, gunfire and fisticuff filled last ten minutes. Definitely feels like the show hitting its stride, only three episodes in.
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