“Some nutty idealist. He’ll make his point more than once unless we nail him!”
The one where…
An idealistic scientist threatens to poison the country’s water supplies with a powerful hallucinogen unless the government publicly renounces biological warfare.
Due to the totally random broadcast order of the episodes, this sixth one was actually the one that was shown first – it benefits from Gordon Jackson’s opening credits voiceover to explain the premise of the show, in lieu of any other kind of introduction.
One of many written by former Doctor Who script editor Anthony Read, this was also directed by a stalwart of that show, the much-respected Douglas Camfield. Camfield had a name for stories heavy with action, particularly military-based, so The Professionals was a perfect fit for him.
It’s certainly a cool opening, as a top chemical company exec, plainly off his head on something, casually jumps out of a seventh storey window rather than attend yet another meeting. There’s chaos in the corridors of ‘World Chemicals’, as shifty scientist Charles Nesbitt has dosed the coffee machine with a powerful hallucinogen called ‘ADX’ – apparently it’s ten times stronger than LSD. Where can I get some?
Hallucinogen-based schemes were fairly common in Clemens’ previous shows, notably late 60s, acid-era The Avengers. But in common with other eps of the more ‘grown-up’ The Professionals, there’s another drug in the mix here too – heroin. This is the second ep in a row to show us the gruelling effects of withdrawal, this time courtesy of corporate secretary (and holder of the coffee machine keys) Susan Fenton.
What’s interesting about Susan is that, unlike last time’s hapless Black street criminal Tin Can, she’s a heroin user who’s a nice, middle-class white woman. It’s certainly unusual for a show of this era to acknowledge that not every drug user is a penniless street thug; in fact, there were quite a few seemingly normal, middle-class addicts at the time. The Misuse of Drugs Act had only been passed six years previously, and prior to that, addicts could register with their GP and get their fix on prescription.
That would have prevented the whole plot of this episode though. In fact, Nesbitt is trying to get rid of Susan before she can finger him for having dosed the coffee machine, so he gets his pusher accomplice to give her pure uncut heroin, rather than her usual, safer dose – something that would never have happened if she could get it on the National Health.
Fortunately for her, Doyle’s police experience extends to knowing the purity of heroin by putting a bit of it on his tongue – which does beg the question of how many times he’s “sampled” it. It also leads him to investigate further with the increasingly frequent trip to a villains’ boozer, something he has in common with Jack Regan from The Sweeney, which was plainly a huge influence on this show.
It becomes clear that Nesbitt (and, presumably, writer Anthony Read) must be a big fan of Batman, as his scheme is the same one the Joker has tried on numerous occasions – he’s going to flood a reservoir with ADX unless the government does what he says and publicly disavows its biological warfare program.
That’s another interesting bit of realpolitik for the show; the UK was a signatory to the 1975 Geneva Protocol prohibiting biological warfare research, so The Professionals is rather heavily implying that it’s breaking international law. And CI5 have to make sure that can continue! Unfortunately, Read seems somewhat confused between biological warfare and chemical warfare; Nesbitt’s demand is that the UK “cease manufacture of chemicals for biological warfare”.
Cowley must also be a reader of Batman, as he’s figured out exactly what Nesbitt is planning as soon as the demand arrives on the PM’s desk. This rather renders all of Bodie and Doyle’s patient investigating somewhat redundant; but at least they don’t know which reservoir Nesbitt is going to poison, so there’s still something for them to do.
In the mean time though, Nesbitt has another demonstration to show he’s serious. This time, he spikes the beer lines in a suburban pub, leading to lots of ADX-addled punters crashing their cars when they drive off at afternoon closing. It’s amusing to see that, outside of the worry about ADX, it’s taken as perfectly normal that people would get sloshed at lunchtime and then drive away.
It takes a lot of dogged detective work to track down which reservoir is Nesbitt’s target, but it really shouldn’t have. As he’s an ex-employee of World Chemicals, and as the World Chemicals sports club is next to a reservoir, well, wouldn’t that be the first place you’d look? All this leads to some genuinely chilly-looking swimming for Bodie and Doyle, together with the unwilling Nesbitt, as they dive into the reservoir to defuse the ADX bomb that’s attached to the waterskiing ramp.
How dodgy is Cowley this week?
It’s becoming a trend that Cowley will, at some point in each episode, do something that is… not quite within the law to get results. Previous incidents include getting a hitman killed by sending him to an Arab theocracy, and threatening to revoke a suspect’s British citizenship.
This time, he needs information from tough drug pusher Sutton, who’s refusing to give up his colleague Nesbitt. So, after regaling Sutton with a beautifully acted war story about using enemy prisoners to clear a minefield, Cowley brings out a hypo of heroin, with the clear intention of getting the horrified pusher addicted to his own poison. Needless to say, Sutton cracks instantly. Also needless to say, Cowley clearly would have gone through with it if necessary.
The cars
The Dolomite Sprint is still in evidence this week, but Doyle also has a new toy courtesy of Triumph – a blue TR7. The last in the line of Triumph’s iconic TR series of sports cars, the TR7 was viewed as a bit of a let-down – for the first time, it was (initially) a hardtop only. It also lost the previous cars’ big, powerful six cylinder engines, being powered instead by the same engine as the Dolomite Sprint – minus the cool 16 valve cylinder head. It also had a pretty tiny cabin, so Gordon Jackson looks less than his usual dignified self when Cowley has to squeeze in for a ride.
Cowley’s usual Rover SD1 must be in the repair shop this week (pretty much the SD1’s natural habitat), as he’s driving a far less prestigious red Princess.
Nesbitt has a 1972 Ford Cortina MkIII, which is handily old enough to be a cheap car to wreck.
Also old enough to wreck are some of the cars in the Black Bull car park. That’s a Ford Zephyr MkII being rear-ended by an ADX-addled driver in a Jaguar Mk2 – and yes, that is the same Jag that was driven by the baddies in previous episode Heroes. There’s also a much newer Austin Allegro – so that one we don’t see getting damaged.
1970s clothes
The boys are on fairly restrained form this week, with Bodie in a slightly less eye-burning tweed blazer than usual, and Doyle in one of his many thick plaid shirt/jackets.
1970s references
Nesbitt’s lab is plastered with any number of posters for typical hippy causes that were common in the 1970s. Along with the urging that “nuclear bases must go” is the rather puzzling demand to “Ban White Bread”. White bread was actually banned for a time in the UK, during World War II; in the 70s, it was viewed as far less healthy than wholegrain bread, hence this campaign. Ironically, wholegrain bread is now more popular, and as a consequence, more expensive.
Hey, it’s that guy from that thing!
Nesbitt is played by prolific actor Keith Barron, who made a name for himself in Dennis Potter’s 1960s Nigel Barton plays, but later became better known for comedy roles such as in the 80s holiday-based sitcom Duty Free.
That’s Di Trevis as unfortunate middle-class junkie Susan Fenton. Trevis had a few small roles in 70s shows, but later went on to work as a theatre director, becoming the first woman to run a company at National Theatre, and teaching the likes of Gary Oldman and Kenneth Branagh.
CEO of World Chemicals Gerald Harvey is played by Angus Mackay, who basically always played these types of old-school authority figures – if he wasn’t a CEO, he’d be a doctor or a headmaster. He actually played two headmasters in Doctor Who, of which the best-remembered is the Doctor’s own tutor Cardinal Borusa in 1975’s The Deadly Assassin.
Also familiar from the world of Doctor Who is the ill-fated Miller, played by Ian Fairbairn. Fairbairn played no fewer than four roles in Who, mainly because he was one of director Douglas Camfield’s preferred actors. So, inevitably, Camfield cast him here.
World Chemicals scientist Cummins is played by Welsh actor Peter Penry-Jones, who may be best remembered these days for fathering the rather more famous Rupert Penry-Jones, longtime star of Spooks.
That’s Scottish actor Donald Douglas as Nesbitt’s hardman accomplice Sutton. Another familiar face from any number of series, Who fans will know him as South African-accented spaceman Vural in 1975’s The Sontaran Experiment.
Low level CI5 man Biggs is Christopher Ellison, who would later go on to much more fame as The Bill’s corrupt Detective Inspector Frank Burnside, another in a long line of clones of Jack Regan.
Nice bit of dialogue
Miller, absolutely out of his gourd: “The sky is very big…”
The boys of CI5, having a bit of bantz:
Cowley, briefing Bodie and Doyle: “World Chemical Products. Man just fell out of a seventh storey window.”
Doyle: “That’s police business.”
Cowley: “He jumped.”
Bodie: “That’s his business.”
Cowley: “Somebody had slipped him a drug, him and half the staff there.”
Bodie and Doyle in unison: “That’s drug squad business.”
Cowley, irritated: “What are you two, some sort of music hall act?”
Bodie, doing a childish ‘crazy’ face: “Whatever we are, you made us!”
Doyle: “Ta-daah!”
Cowley gets philosophical: “Will she live?”
Bodie: “God knows.”
Cowley: “Yes, but unfortunately I haven’t been in touch with Him for some time.”
Later:
Cowley: “No, this is idealism. God save us from all idealists.”
Bodie: “Thought you and He weren’t talking?”
Cowley: “Oh, He does me the occasional favour.”
Bodie, displaying his expected style of bedside manner as he comforts the recovering Susan, who’s remembering her recently deceased Persian cat: “Well, I’m the next best thing. Not white and fluffy, but plenty of girls think I should be put down.”
Casual Sexism
Doyle, courtesy of his undercover mate Benny, gets to bust pusher Sutton at the “afternoon strip show” of a local theatre. Benny advises that they wait until after curtain down to make the arrest, “because after curtain down that dressing room will be crawling with birds”. Doyle looks positively ecstatic at the thought.
Less action-packed than you’d expect from director Douglas Camfield (though the action scenes, when they happen, are directed with aplomb), this ep is the first to make the show appear somewhat right-wing in CI5’s steadfast defence of the Establishment. Yes, obviously Nesbitt is nuts, but his cause, stopping germ warfare, is basically sound. More than that, it gives the impression that the UK is actively engaged in biological warfare research, in contravention of international law, and that CI5 is prepared to help keep it that way. The show’s politics were always rather muddled…
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