September 2025 – Simon’s Incoherent Blog

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 8 – The Real Monsters

“All this time, we’ve been afraid of them. But I think… they should be afraid of us.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

It’s become a familiar refrain both on and offscreen in the Alien universe that the Xenomorphs are not “the real monsters”. No, the real monsters would be people – in particular, the rapacious, greedy corporations eager to make a quick buck out of the uncontrollable killing machines, uncaring how many people die to make that happen.

The Professionals: Series 2, Episode 2 – Hunter/Hunted

“Guard it Doyle, guard it with your life. In the wrong hands, that gun could create an instant disaster area.”

The one where…

CI5 are entrusted with the testing of a powerful, innovative new gun, and Doyle immediately loses it.

Although Cowley’s portentous warnings would suggest that the new gun central to the plot was some kind of doomsday weapon, the actual novelty of it is its laser sight; in every other way it’s just a (admittedly powerful) automatic rifle that had been on the market for a few years by this point.

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 7 – Emergence

“We’re all going to die here. And then the bugs will crawl in and we’ll all be ghosts.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

As expected after last week’s tension-building instalment, all those plotlines that Alien Earth has built up over the season start coming to fruition in this penultimate episode. Joe and Wendy’s escape plan from Prodigy; Slightly’s frantic attempt to bring Morrow an Alien; Yutani sending in troops to retrieve her specimens; Wendy’s bond with the recently hatched Alien – all feature heavily in an episode that shifts the story into high gear.

The Professionals: Series 2, Episode 1 – Rogue

“You’re good, both of you, the best – but I’ve got the drop on you, psychologically. Ask yourself a question – who trained you, taught you?”

The one where…

An old friend of Cowley’s, his first pick when forming CI5, and Bodie and Doyle’s trainer, turns out to be corrupt, and the boys have to track him down before he can flee the country.

With the first series of The Professionals having been a storming success for ITV, obviously they were keen to have more. Surprisingly, though, many of the behind the scenes staff – and one conspicuous onscreen one – were not so keen, so it was all change for this second “series” (well, production block).

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 6 – The Fly

“Are we people, or something else? Because I don’t want to be ‘people’ any more, if this is what people are.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

It’s back to the main story in Alien: Earth this week, after last week’s well-crafted (but sort of pointless) prequel-to-a-prequel remake of Alien. This is a thoughtful, contemplative ep that focuses mainly on the characters and concepts, but laced with dread throughout. And it’s clearly the calm before the storm that will presumably be unleashed in the final two episodes.

The Professionals: Series 1, Episode 13 – When the Heat Cools Off

“I helped put away a man for a crime he didn’t do!”

The one where…

An old police case comes back to haunt Doyle, when the daughter of a man he put away for murder presents a case for her father’s innocence.

Most crime shows have done one of these from time to time – the episode where the hero has to struggle with the realisation that, perhaps, one of his previous collars was actually an innocent man who’s been rotting away in jail all this time. This time, it’s former copper Doyle who’s presented with enough doubt by the pretty daughter of an imprisoned crime lord to make him reopen an investigation he thought finished in 1971.

The Professionals: Series 1, Episode 12 – Stake Out

“How many stake outs you been on, Bodie?”

The one where…

The stakes escalate dramatically when Bodie and Doyle’s stakeout of a bowling alley reveals a plan to nuke Central London.

After the rather overambitious attempt at spectacle in the previous episode, this one goes completely the opposite way by having an entire episode mostly set in one location. And you know what? It’s much, much better. Unfolding over the course of about four hours, as Bodie and Doyle stake out a bowling alley after a CI5 agent is killed with a scorecard in his pocket, the episode is both tense and, surprisingly, funny.

Alien: Earth Season 1, Episode 5 – In Space, No One…

“They want their monsters. Here they come.”

(SPOILER WARNING!)

Quite a change in format for Alien: Earth this week, as the show takes a break from its ongoing plotlines (and last week’s cliffhanger ending) for a flashback ep to the events on the USCSS Maginot before its crash on Earth. Well, having so meticulously recreated the original sets from the first Alien, it would be a shame for Noah Hawley not to get as much use out of them as possible, and they’re showcased this week in what is, essentially, a beefed up remake of that film. Hence the episode title.

The Professionals: Series 1, Episode 11 – Look After Annie

“You never married then?”
“You didn’t have to ask that, Annie. You know that as far as I’m concerned, you were always…”

The one where…

Bodie and Doyle are assigned to watch over a controversial evangelist/politician, only to discover that she’s an old flame of Cowley’s…

After two episodes focusing mostly on Bodie and Doyle, respectively, it’s now time for one that’s all about Cowley. As Bodie remarks at one point, besides being the standard firm-but-fair boss from all shows like this, we (and they) know very little about him. Look After Annie redresses that balance, delving into the dry, dour Scotsman’s past and giving Gordon Jackson a chance to be the standout cast member for once.